This charming little sentence has so much resonance for those of us who remember the Rodney King beating many years ago. I reached into my heart so deeply that day. A great question that pops up all the time in relationship counseling as it does in the realm of community relations. The answer is yes — maybe. Good communication takes empathy. The ability to really feel what someone else may be feeling. This goes for husbands and wives, friends, colleagues, adults and youngsters and yes across the race divide. Will I ever know what it feels like to be African American? No. But I understood Mr. King that day. We need to make an effort to understand each other. To listen, to witness, to reach out of our comfort zones, to really stretch and TRY to understand the other person, to listen! And we need to make it safe for others to share their feelings.
Sometimes members of a couple are too hurt to go there. The average couple waits 7 years past the time they first need to come in and get assistance. And then the wounds and the hurts go very deep. Can they just get along? Only if they are willing to witness their partner’s pain and acknowledge whatever part they may have played in that – unwittingly or not. And then forgiveness must be invested in all around. This is not easy but with time and practice it is doable.
